there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
