The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
