was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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