did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
