i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
