Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
