Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
