i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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