Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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