omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
