Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
