Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize