And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize