grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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