Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
