That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's shark week go big or go home
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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