Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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