She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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