I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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