this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
