His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
