census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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