So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
