There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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