ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
