We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
