She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.