WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.