i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
nutella sex= disaster
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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