shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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