You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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