I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
