Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
