You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
false alarm. still invincible.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
