btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
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I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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