she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize