There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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