you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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