no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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