Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
