im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
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Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
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He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
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