Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
