don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
