Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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