Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize