Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When are your genitals available?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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