maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
