im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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