I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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