omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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