He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
