I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
