i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
