No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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