how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
