I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
