Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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