There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize