Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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