Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
