I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
