Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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