Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
